New Beginnings

Today is the day for new beginnings. Tradition tells us every January 1st is our one “do-over” day. Whatever miss-steps we took last year, goals that did not come to pass, or dreams that did not materalize, are not lost. Today we are given the gift of new beginnings, starting over – stronger for the wisdom and lessons learned in 2009.

2010 ushers in a new decade. That in itself is reason to reevaluate and prioritize what is important and commit to changing our lives in ways that will bring stability, happiness, comfort, and love once again into our lives. How difficult can that be? I am sure I make my life much more complicated than it needs to be. If I could change anything, it would be to simplify my life.

As I began to ask the people around me, “what made life so difficult in 2009,” the consensus was that we allowed the greed of others to take control of our lives. It seemed greed was everywhere, running rampant across America and around the world. We learned our political leaders could not protect us because many of them are full of greed, serving their own political agendas. We saw the financial markets tumble and bring so many of us to our knees. We put our money in places we did not truly understand, trusting others to increase our wealth, yet found they had no ethics. Collectively we chose to believe there was no bubble and that living in America guarenteed our financial success. Now looking back, we can see it was us who lost their way. We put our faith in men who use their power to appease their greed. It is time for a new way. The lesson before us is, we have a responsibility to protect ourselves from those who can and will destroy our way of life if given the opportunity.

Today as I reflect on the lessons I learned in 2009, I commit to let go of my resentments against those filled with greed. It is encombant upon me to take responsibility for the stability of my financial future.

On this day of new beginnings, I also commit to improving my health. A cancer diagnosis taught me that it is the corner stone of living my best life now. I say it is time we all come to terms with the fact that our food is pumped full of hormones and sprayed with pesticides and that our bodies cannot sustain this amount of toxic overload. I now understand that the FDA is incapable of protecting my health, as long as it remains controlled by giant companies like Monsanto. Protecting myself means I must begin to eat organic food, drink only bottled water.

Starting today, I pledge to begin juicing and eating raw organic food, eliminating meat from my diet, to discontinue using my microwave oven just because it’s convenient, detoxing by body from toxins, and making the switch from storing my food in plastic to glass containers. 2010 is the year to take responsibility for my health. Doing so will require a shift in thinking to assure my long-term health.  I want this for all the people I love, but I have learned we must want it for ourselves first. So, I pray you will take an active interest in learning about what is in the food you eat and take your power back by putting your health first.

Finally, I pledge that 2010 will become my year for “going deeper.” Going deeper will remind me that I want to make a point of squeezing more out of life every day, to feel my emotions more deeply, to love more passionately, to share myself with others more freely and to follow my dreams in ways that will bring deeper long-lasting happiness into the world.

On this day of new beginnings, what are the things you vow to change?

A Day for Giving Thanks

Today was a cold crisp day in the Northwest, the rain had finally subsided and I could see a spot of blue sky over downtown Seattle. This was my opportunity to see downtown dressed up for the holiday’s before I leave town.

It wasn’t snowing but there was a definate chill in the air. As I walked down the street, people were bundled up in big winter coats; some wore hats and gloves and most were lugging holiday packages. The major department stores are geared up for the Holiday Parade scheduled to hit the streets of downtown Seattle this Friday. All the large picture windows are decorated and lights twinke brightly for as far as the eye can see.

Beyond the beautifully decorated windows and the twinkely lights, I saw a community struggeling to survive. I wasn’t prepared to see large numbers of homeless people standing on street corners holding signs begging people to give. Their eyes spoke volumes of their pain and lonliness. For them, I imagine Christmas is just another day. There will be no tree or presents to buy, no homes to decorate or friends to entertain. I turned the corner and came face to face with a man sitting in a wheel chair. He had no coat just a shirit and torn thin blanket across his lap, his clothes were worn, his hair in tangels. He just held a tin can. No sign. Looking at him said it all. As I walked past him, I turned and looked into his tired crystal blue eyes. Where did he go at night I wondered? Did he have food for tonight? How did his life go so wrong that he ended up on the streets begging for change?

I walked another block and suddenly I realized I had lost my interest in looking in store windows for the beauty of Christmas. 2009 has not been a good year for America. The economy appears to have affected everyone, except maybe the man pulling out of the parking lot of the Rainer Club this afternoon in his new shiny red Porsche.

I walked back to my car and drove home. Coming across the bridge over Lake Washington, I looked south to see Mt. Rainer in all her glory. She was covered in snow surrounded in a light pink hue standing proudly as a symbol of the incredible beauty of this region. The vision was magestic and I began to give thanks for all the positive aspects of my life.

I am thankful I can get in a nice warm car and drive home from the streets of downtown and know that I have a beautiful place to sleep tonight. I am thankful I have food to eat and warm clothes to wear. I am thankful I overcame cancer and had family and friends to take care of me when I was sick. I am thankful God has blessed me with many gifts that give me the ability to earn a living - even during this difficult economy. I am thankful life has not left me jaded and bitter and that I have the capacity to have compassion for others less fortunate. I am thankful I have family and friends who love and support me through the good times and the bad.

This Thanksgiving don’t overlook what you are thankful for.

The Power of Place

As the sun sets over the Olympic Mountains I feel the seasons change from fall to winter. The air is brisk across my face as a slow moving wind blows off the waters of Lake Washington. Seattle’s pewter skies cast a dramatic backdrop to the billows of white rolling clouds moving north, blanketing the Olympic penninsula. The peace one feels here is tied to the land, the water and string of islands that line the coast from Seattle to Canada.

Closing my eyes, I hear the whispers of the Indian people whose culture is so connected with the spirit of this country. They understand how to listen to the spirit of nature, allowing it to guide them and embrace the harmony every spirit craves.

Driving out of Los Angeles, I slowly could feel a weight being lifted as I traveled north beyond the intensity of the city and its traffic nightmere. My restless mind could not be satisfied after overcoming my life’s biggest challenge. A cancer diagnosis had ignited my passion to reconnect with who I have become. The need to slow down and no longer take life for granted was impossible surrounded by distraction. Living in the midst of it, life is hard to evaluate when you find yourself in a fish bowl. Lying in bed following my last chemo treatment, I had glimpses of all that my life could be.

Separation from my disconnected life had become a necessity. God had intervened and blessed me with an opportunity to return to the Pacific N.W. to heal and reconnect with my lifes passion. The work I am doing here is valueable and honors a living legend, who at 88 is writing his life story. Our meeting was by chance, yet it has served to reinvigorate my interest in the world.

I have learned life is a delicate balance. The happiness we all seek lies in our ability to reconnect with our spirit. It takes time, commitment and concentration to disconnect from the noise of our world. Without doing so, we are lost. As I prepare to make my journey home, my confidence remains high that I have learned the value of listening to my spirit and to trust my feelings. Contentment is found in nature, in the relationships you value in your life, in carving out time for yourself and in the compassion and love you give to others. This is the power of our humanity – embrace it.

How Cancer Changed My Life

Everyone knows at some level that life is finite, but I never thought about it as concretely or as often as after my cancer diagnosis. Cancer survivors are acutely aware of our limited time on earth. It’s a side effect of mortality staring you in the face. Once I crossed that line in the sand, I realized my cancer experience had permanently affected my perception of time. The shift for me began during my second week of a 24-hour a day chemo treatment. Seven days of toxic chemicals corsing through my veins had left me exhausted. I spent my days lying in bed looking out my window, searching for the positive things that would come out of my battle against the dragon. I grew impatient and frustrated over the reality that I had ignored my passions and at mid-life found myself unfulfilled.

Everyday I reaffirmed that many more people today now survive cancer, but the thought that my cancer could be life-threatening rarely left my mind. I had always believed I would live to 85 or beyond and die happily of old age, but now my script could potentially end differently. That was reason enough to re-evaluate priorities. The process forced me to take stock in the friends who were there for me during my darkest hours, to painstakingly evaluate who should receive my time and attention from that day forward, I made a comitment to become actively involved in protecting our environment, and acknowledged the importance of living my dreams now. Starting over would provide the opportunity to redefine who I am. I had overcome the ravages of chemo and radiation and fought my way back to the land of the living. It was in that moment that I knew I could do anything with my life I wanted now that I had clear intention. We each have a purpose here; some of us take longer than others to uncover what that gift is. But once we find it, our souls are challenged to give it back to the world in full measure.

Like many cancer survivors, I am a realist. A year later, I am now in full remission and consider myself one of the “lucky ones.” I move forward with my life harboring the realization that my life could change again in an instant. My cancer could resurface, the battle could begin again, but right now I am cancer-free and there is nothing more important than looking forward to explore the many positives and gifts in my life. Living with purpose gives focus to everything. I have my life, I have my energy back and I conquered the dragon by maintaining a healthy positive perspective and the confidence to no longer settle for less.

No one says, “I’m glad I got cancer.” But almost everyone says “It changed the way I look at my life, my relationships, my career, everything.” Cancer taught me that life is precious and so worth the struggles that cross our path. I realize now the gift I was given was the clarity to see my purpose. Cancer is the most powerful motivator I know. I tell myself everyday that everything in our universe happens for a reason and each event leads me closer to where I am meant to be.

Birthday Reflections

On the heels of a cancer diagnosis, birthday celebrations take on new meaning. Turning another year older today, comes with a badge of honor that at one point felt so fleeting.

I have slayed the dragon and my reward continues to lie just beyond the rainbow arching in brilliant shades of green, yellow and pink, reaching high into the sky outside my window. It is a sign that my challenges will continue to be conquered through mindful exploration and a willingness to embrace the changing seasons of life. The path to the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow will come from the realization that I had the courage to sieze the day, to make a difference in the lives of others and in the process, found peace as my life was restored.

As I celebrate my new found freedom, the realization that I have overlooked the simplicity of life and its many riches seeps into my soul. God is telling me, “Life doesn’t have to be so complicated, take pleasure in the simple things and share that peace with others.” I vow to do this and make it my birthday wish today.

Each of us is given such a short time on earth to make our mark. Finding happiness is always within our grasp. For me, it has become a matter of changing perspectives as I grow older. Looking back on the journey of my youth, my path was thrilling, sometimes heart-breaking, continually full of wonder, and propelled by the freedom that comes from believing life will last forever. I would not change a thing. It was my path that took me to the doors of incredible long-lasting friendships, passionate love and a deep appreciation for the bonds of family. Now in mid-life, time passes more quickly. I am keenly aware I have less of it to make mistakes. I am blessed to harbor the feeling that all is as it should be. I have let go of the goals born in my youth, content now in the path I have chosen. I plot my course with intention, making use of the wisdom that comes with age.

My footprints in the sand may disappear, but my love for those around me will endure forever.